Travel Poop

After all my years of living in a developing country I have learned to talk openly about poop. It's a topic of daily conversation, over coffee, between friends. It's also one of the things that most concerns our travelers. It's the fear of being incapacitated and holed up in a hotel room while everyone else is out whooping it up.

Here I will share a few things I have learned about staying regular and feeling good while traveling to far flung places. Some things scientific, others common sense, all based on experience. Start your well-deserved vacation time off on the right foot.

Before you even leave home, stick to your daily routines, right up until the time you head to the airport.

Drink ONLY water on the airplane.
No coffee, no soda, no juice, and fortheloveofpete no alcohol. If you can't go a day with drinking only water, think long and hard about what's wrong with that. If your body senses you’re dehydrated, it’ll suck every drop of moisture out of your food, which means constipation. And keep in mind that if you’re sweating due to heat or exertion, you’ll need even more water to recover to normal hydration levels.

Stick to your regularly scheduled programming. 
If you normally eat at 7:00am, 12:00pm and 6:00pm, then while you're traveling make every effort to eat at 7:00am, 12:00pm and 6:00pm, give or take a few. Your body doesn't know it's on vacation nor does it care if you've crossed over a timezone or two. Fiber is poop's best friend. Keep this in mind when making food choices on your journey. Wash it all down with water. And, have a snack handy for when you absolutely cannot keep to your mealtime. 

Wear loose fitting clothes on the airplane.
Tight pants, as well as an empty stomach, produces gas. Gas produces bloating. GasX strips are great for traveling. They are small and inconspicuous, and work fast. As a side benefit, their the great minty flavor will cover up your bad breath so you can talk to the hottie and/or really interesting person sitting next to you.

Bananas, oatmeal, and rice, oh my. 
Should diarrhea rear its ugly head, don't run straight for the butt plug - I'm referring to Imodium. Sure, that will be a show stopper, temporarily, but diarrhea is your body's way of trying to get rid of something that shouldn't be in there. A better approach would be to take a Pepto Bismol and eat one of the foods mentioned in the title of this section, which will slow things down, not shut them down. Again, drink lots of water. And if necessary, take the day to rest.

Did I mention water?